I Went Viral on TikTok
Something strange happened over the weekend.
I am not a social media person. I don’t have a ton of followers, and I’ve always been sort of reluctant to put regular content out there for such scrutiny. But last week I went to an intensive training that was about letting yourself become more visible so you can have a bigger impact. Feeling inspired and emboldened, I thought, what the heck, and I recorded a video and posted it on TikTok.
It was my first TikTok ever, and it did surprisingly well, by my measurements. Over 2000 people watched it and over a hundred people liked within the first 24 hours. That’s the most engagement I’ve ever had with any social media postby a pretty good margin.
So I did another video the next day, in which I gave my annual rant about how Mother’s Day is a tool of the patriarchy—and woah.
As of right now, over fifteen thousand people have watched that video, over 1600 have liked it, and over 70 have left really lovely and encouraging comments.
I know this is not astronomical success. No one’s going to be calling me for a book deal or a speaking gig for this video. You might not even call it really viral, but it felt big to me. It felt like it could be the beginning of something.
And here’s the thing I noticed: I felt myself getting sucked into the Achievement Trap.
I could feel the seductive desire to keep checking my stats, the swell in my body that said: Yes! They love you! See? You matter.
I heard the perfectionistic inner-critic: You know you really should have taken a few minutes to learn to edit the video before posting it. It could have done way better if you had.
I could feel the stress tensing my body as I thought: Okay, you gotta ride this. You need to post every day now. What’s your next one? What if it doesn’t do as well?! Don’t screw this up!
I know the Achievement Trap well.
As a straight-A student, an award-winner, a Ph.D. in philosophy, I’d been caught inside the Trap for decades and I could feel myself starting to get pulled into the endless, grinding frenzy of it.
The Achievement Trap is the belief system that all your value as a human depends on temporary external markers of success: how fancy your job title is, how your kid’s birthday party compares to their classmates’, how nice your house is, or how well your little video does on freakin’ TikTok. It keeps you hustling, scared, and stuck in a life that doesn’t feed your soul.
But, thankfully, I’ve learned over the years how to ground into a sense of self-worth and meaning, independent of my accomplishments. I’ve learned how to feel a sense of unshakable belonging to the planet.
More and more, I’m learning to break free from the Achievement Trap.
I want to share what I’ve learned, as my gift you. Join me for:
Feel Like Enough: 3 Radical Ideas for Breaking Free from the Achievement Trap
A Free Webinar on Thursday, May 22 at 10am PT/ 1pm ET
Register here for a Zoom link and replay video
In this free webinar, you’ll learn:
Why chasing achievement will never satisfy your deeper longing for meaning
Three liberatory ideas rooted in existential philosophy, Buddhism, and feminism
Practices to stop proving yourself — and start trusting yourself
If you’re ready to feel a greater sense of worthiness and belonging, please join me. Register now.