3 Steps to End a Doom Spiral 😵‍💫

A “stop, drop, and roll” for your emotional fires

You know those moments when you’ve just gotten an unwanted email, you’re tossing with anxiety the middle of the night, or you’re doomscrolling yourself into a tizzy? Those moments when you’re spinning out, thinking about all the horrible things coming, compulsively clicking, or exercising, or working, just to try to make the feeling go away?

I know that for me, these habits may bring temporary relief, but in the long run, they wear me out, and I don’t feel any safer in the world.

Here’s a simple 3-step process to do instead that will bring deeper peace and longer-lasting change. A sort of “stop, drop, and roll” for your emotional fires, if you will:

1. Notice that you are having a hard time right now. You can even say aloud “Wow, I’m struggling at the moment.” Notice, and try to get really curious about, what it feels like in your body to have a hard time.

2. Ask yourself what you need at the deepest level. Almost always, the answer will be something like: I need to be safe/ seen/ loved/ held/ cared for/ respected/ or to belong. (Hint: I need these circumstances to change or I need so-and-so to act differently are not the deepest level.) Then remind yourself that these are natural, reasonable, human needs and wanting them comes from a good place.

3. Connect with that wise, loving, part of yourself that can give you your deepest need. Let the part of you speak that truly knows that you are good, whole, and worthy of love, respect, and care. Really feel that truth in your body.

Uhh….yeah, sure, no problem. Except I have no idea how to do half of these things. And they seem sort of impossible.

Yes, this process is easier said than done. I know.

But, I promise, these skills CAN be learned, and with time, patience, and support, you can make them a part of your life. I’ve done so myself and I’ve helped dozens of clients do the same.

What changes it from “easier said than done” to actually possible is doing it in real time, with someone who can catch you when you slip back into old patterns. Not just reading about it, but practicing it inside relationship.

These skills are just some of the ones we learn in The Bravely Examined Life, a year-long program to help high-achieving women find meaning and identity outside their accomplishments.

If you want to know more, let’s talk.

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Stop, drop, and roll,

Danielle