Happy 2024, ya’ll! So, my theme of the year is Generosity.
I chose to work with Generosity this year because there were some patterns in myself I didn’t particularly like. I noticed, for example, last summer I’d get all prickly inside when my kid’s friend came over and, during snack time, ate nearly the entire box of raspberries I just bought.
I mean, sure that’s annoying. But, my reaction was more than just annoyed. I felt indignant. Like, angry. With a seven-year-old. Inside, I was Gollum, wanting to snatch the raspberries off the table and hide in the basement, wrapped around my precious fruit, elbows pointed out, snarling at anyone who looks my way.
Not my proudest moment.
In her remarkable book The Soul of Money, Lynne Twist writes that the first toxic money myth is that “There’s not enough.” This scarcity mindset can infuse our attitudes not only about money, but also about time, space, power, attention, love, clothes, stuff, food, and yes, raspberries. Scarcity grips us from the moment we wake up in the morning, (thinking, “I didn’t get enough sleep”) to the time we go to bed, (thinking, “I didn’t get enough done”).
Twist goes on to say that the scarcity mindset not only keeps us feeling depleted and tense, but also pushes us to act in ways we’re not proud of. We’re so concerned about protecting us and ours that we will do whatever it takes to not be the ones left without. This is how we end up with systems that hoard resources and deny opportunities to people.
I’m not quite sure how we get out of scarcity mindset, but it seems to require broadening our scope. True, maybe I didn’t get to eat those raspberries now, but, honestly, I could always get more later. (As an adult, I have much more control over my powers of fruit acquisition than a child does.) Or maybe I don’t get the raspberries at all, but I have lots of other food I can have. Maybe, in a karmic sense, it all evens out in the end. Maybe the real lesson is to practice gratitude for the things I do have.
Weekly Gifts
I’ve decided this year to work on my theme of Generosity by giving at least one gift every week of the year, and to chronicle and reflect on them here.
Week 1, Jan 1-7: It seems sort of lame to start with a gift to myself, but this was accidental. I decided try out Liz Gilbert’s daily practice of writing a two-way letter to and from Love. My letter to myself from Love felt more like a gift than anything I’ve received in a long while.
Week 2, Jan 8-14: I gave three Prosperity Project sessions this week, which, to be honest, feels more like a mutual exchange. When people are so vulnerable in telling their stories, are willing to give me their trust, and are able to work through this tough and complicated thing called life with me, that is a real gift too.
My husband and I also gave breakfast to the neighbor and her five-year-old who stopped by while playing outside in the Portland snow storm on Saturday.
And yes, as I refilled the little one’s bowl of crackers, I had to breathe and remind myself that we had plenty to go around.
I’m working on it.
When was a moment you felt the scarcity mindset grip you? What do you think the way out is? Share your answer in Mother Den.
Danielle LaSusa Ph.D. is a Philosophical Coach, helping new moms grapple with what it means to make a person. She is the creator of The Meaning of Motherhood course, which explores the changes in identity, meaning, and wisdom that come with motherhood. To join her mailing list, subscribe here.
© Copyright Danielle LaSusa PhD, LCC, 2021. All rights reserved.
